I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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