Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
