My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
i think im in europe. pls send help
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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