You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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