D3 body, D1 cock
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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