We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
