she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
