Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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