Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
