is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
i out mim tonsoeep
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