You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize