I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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