In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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