Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
