worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
