I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
