Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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