Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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