the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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