My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
