Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Randomize
