Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
