I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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