It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
