Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
