There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
