I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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