her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
