yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
never play flip cup with pint glasses
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
