Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
