he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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