NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The beer is more important than you right now.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
