Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
