Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
smell my finger.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
