I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
it's great music for shaving your balls
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
