My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
