so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
