she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize