Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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