It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So much rum. So many feels.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
