wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
