it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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