Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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