dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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