plz talk dirty to me
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
