the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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