His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
