life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
