i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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