So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
