And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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