i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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