I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
