we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
