When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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