our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You have to summon your inner elephant
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
