foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
