Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
