I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
