In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I look better un-naked...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
