You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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