that's an acceptable place to lick
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He has the fingertips of a God
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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