i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
